


Silence is Golden

by daphnie_1



Category: Star Trek (2009)
Genre: Additional Warnings Apply, Angst, Arguing, Character Study, Introspection, M/M, One Shot, Relationship Study
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-02-19
Updated: 2010-02-19
Packaged: 2017-10-11 20:47:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,924
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/116926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daphnie_1/pseuds/daphnie_1
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kirk sometimes thinks that silence really is golden.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Silence is Golden

**Author's Note:**

> BETA: jaylee_g and Magie_05
> 
> WARNINGS: Implied adult situations and strong swearing
> 
> Written for the fourth challenge over at [info]st_respect which involved 'In the doghouse.' (and with what seems to be my mantra for that com...I ended up with this XD) The word limit of this round was 2000 words.

The fighting tends to go in cycles like everything else they do. They can sometimes even go days without wanting to tear chunks out of each other. Sometimes.

 

No matter how many times Kirk has seen Spock this way it won't ever stop being weird, and yeah he's not going to lie, it's actually pretty hot, too. Spock's hair is a mess, his lips still kiss-swollen and his skin pretty badly marked from where Kirk had gotten a little careless with his teeth and his nails. Spock looks more human than Vulcan, his oh-so-perfect composure almost shattered, and Kirk thinks that given about twenty minutes he could totally go again.

Spock is sitting on the floor – out of temptations reach – crossed legged, his eyes closed. Back at the start of this, whatever the hell it is, Kirk had thought the meditation was some weird kind of atonement for something. As always with Spock, though, things are never that fucking simple. It's Spock's way of clawing a little of himself back, dealing with the fact he can feel something, that he actually wants something.

Kirk can never quite decide if he should be smug or not, but hey, not his fault he's _that_ good, right?

The amount of time Spock will spend meditating depends on exactly how much noise he's just made. See, Spock isn't the only one that can come up with scientific theories, and Kirk's done tests... Thank you Starfleet Academy.

Sometimes Kirk will just leave Spock and he won't make any noise. Most of the time it's like that, and well, Kirk makes more than enough noise for them both combined anyway. Sometimes though Kirk will kiss, and touch, and tease until Spock makes that weird sound that's almost an intake of breath, but that on anyone else would be a god-damn groan, before Kirk will let Spock fuck him.

Spock has called Kirk's name once, and it'd been more of a whisper, but hell that had resulted in a Grade A Vulcan freak out. Well, when he says 'freak out' he means Spock blinking a bit too much, meditating for two hours, and no sex for three months. That'd been one _hell_ of a three months and something that Kirk is in no hurry to repeat.

The amount of time Spock will spend meditating also depends on exactly how pissed off he is at Kirk. Spock is, after all, nothing if not efficient.

They don't talk about it, and seriously, Kirk sometimes thinks they need a list of 'things that Kirk and Spock never talk about' just to keep everything right. After all, he might just go ahead and forget one of them and all hell would break lose. This, however, doesn't mean that Kirk isn't allowed to formulate theories. He figures that's still allowed under 'The Rules'.

Spock doesn't like him purposely toying with him, making him act more human just because he can, just because he's one of the few people that would actually be capable of it. The whole human thing goes against everything that Spock wants, values, and yeah, Kirk gets that. He also kinda can't help it. It's a thing. He dosen't know why, it just _is_.

He shouldn't do it, he knows that. Three damn months should have taught him that one and he's never been slow on the uptake. He tells himself that he doesn't know why he pushes it sometimes, but he does, of course he does.

He'd have been stupid to miss it.

It's because he likes destroying Spock's composure, likes being the one that can get under his skin, and gets some weird sort of pleasure out of being the one that really makes Spock lose it. Kirk tells himself there's no correlation with the fact it tends to happen on days when they've fought, days when Spock has just been _freaking_ unreachable.

Like today for example. One slight argument on the bridge which had ended with Kirk screaming at Spock and just getting glared at back with no clue how to read what Spock is thinking. Weird, since he usually has at least some sort of clue.

Actually, sometimes Kirk wonders if Spock is more concerned with the fact that someone has seen him losing his cool more than the fact he's actually done it. If a Vulcan is emotional and no-one is there to see it, does it make a sound? Now that's a question for the ages.

"Spock?" Kirk says, suddenly conscious of the fact that Spock has been meditating for almost an hour now, which is longer than usual.

He doesn't get an answer and damn does it take every single amount of his self restraint not to stand up and go over. Because yeah, touching Spock right now is seriously not going to help. No matter how much he wants to. No matter how much he really needs to right now.

"Your actually ignoring me? Seriously? That's just _childish_. I'd expect better from you." It's said lightly, clearly teasing, a smile on his face.

Spock opens his eyes and looks at Kirk, "I am not 'ignoring' you." And Kirk can pick up on the 'If I was you'd damn well know it' undertone to that which makes him smile for real. "Such an action would indeed be futile. I am merely attempting to focus my concentration."

Spock closes his eyes and proceeds to 'focus his concentration' for another half hour.

After Spock's done meditating he picks himself up and goes to take a shower. He doesn't turn up again untill he's his prim and proper Vulcan self, his hair perfect and his uniform without a crease. Seriously, Kirk will never get how Spock manages that.

It's like the guy from half an hour ago doesn't exist and every piece of evidence that he ever did is gone. When Kirk thinks about it, and he tries his damnedest not to, he decides it's almost like dealing with two different people. This Spock still calls him Captain half the time even though they've been together for months, and seriously, anyone who's done the things to him Spock has should be pretty comfortable using his name.

"Your actions today on the bridge where illogical and unacceptable."

Yeah, he had gotten pretty worked up. But Spock had just point blank refused to listen. Kirk nods, 'cause yeah, no way he could have seen that one coming. "Doesn't mean I wasn't right."

Spock blinks at him twice very quickly, in that particular way Kirk has come to understand means he's surprised or annoyed. “I do not understand how you could have arrived at that conclusion.”

And Kirk grins at him. He doesn't really mean it, but can't quite help himself. "Well, last I checked the scoreboard for it was Kirk 1 Spock 0. I won, which means I'm right."

Spock quirks an eyebrow at him, but if Kirk didn't know better, he'd swear there was the ghost of a smile flickering at the corner of Spock's mouth. "That is not my interpretation of the situation."

Kirk's grinning now, despite everything, because somehow this is just so damn fucking _funny_ , "Nah, you see you weren't taught properly. The person who gets the last word wins.” And he shrugs, “Can't help the rules."

They should actually be having a proper conversation and they know it, but both of them are fucking incapable of that, so instead there's this. Perhaps it's better… yeah, perhaps it is, he decides. After all, God fucking forbid anything actually get, you know, resolved or anything, right? Perhaps better isn't the right word and he should go with easier, and it's certainly that.

"Indeed?" And Spock tilts his head to the side in such a god damned human gesture that it actually hurts "That explains Doctor McCoy's instance on talking at great length and volume."

And Kirk is laughing now, because you know it's bad when Spock is actually trying to be funny. Spock is funny, but he rarely has to try. Something he'd never have guessed before all this.

Kirk stands up off the bed and walks over, even if he has no clue what he's going to do, or say, but he knows he's got to do something.

“Look, I -” and Spock cuts him off with a kiss. It's sweet, and soft, and it makes his insides hurt. Kirk thinks that this is probably better 'cause fuck knows what he was going to say. _I love you. I fucking hate you sometimes. I'm sorry that we fight so goddamn much._ None of them would really work, really cover everything that needs to be said, should be said. This though? Hell yes, he can deal with this.

Spock pulls back, "I am due at the science lab in a few moments."

Kirk nods, "Yeah, you have that experiment."

Spock kisses him again lightly and heads for the science labs.

We're supposed to be _fucking_ soul mates or something like that, Kirk thinks, destined for each other. Hell, we're T'hy'la. Then why the fuck is this so goddamn difficult? It's not meant to be difficult. The other Spock had made it sound so easy, like it was the simplest and most natural thing in the world.

Don't get him wrong: sometimes it is. Sometimes it is the easiest thing in the world because they just click, and hell, it works. Those days almost seem like magic. When you know you know the old saying always goes, and on those days? He knows without a doubt, and _fuck_ , dosen't that just scare the hell out of him.

And then, well, then there are days like these, that show just how different they actually are T'hy'la, or not.

* * *

  
About an hour later he's doing his nightly round of the ship. Even if he's not officially on duty it's still something he does, a habit he picked up from Admiral Pike. It's not that he dosen't trust his crew - because he does, more than he's ever trusted anyone or anything. They aren't the best in the 'fleet for nothing - but because it's good for people to see him about so they can wander up and talk to him. Most nights they do, but it's quiet today, and he's only been spoken to a few times. He remembers what Pike had told him, that it'd keep him connected, keep him grounded, reminded how the ship actually runs. He gets that's something he can never afford to forget. He likes it, the sound of the metal under his feet.

Suddenly there's footsteps in time with his own and Spock is walking beside him. Spock dosen't say anything for a few moments and they just walk.

"Captain."

Kirk stops and turns to look at him. There's an expression in Spock's eyes he can't quite place, one he's never seen there before.

Spock steps forward, places a hand on his arm, and touches his forehead to Kirk's own. It's only for a few seconds, but fuck, it feels pretty much forever. The amount of affection, admiration, and yeah he'll say it, love that flows through the contact is almost enough to floor him.

It's then Kirk remembers they don't need words, never have. They've always said so much in other ways.

There is the quirk of a smile at the corners of Spock's mouth for a split second, and Kirk returns it with a grin.

Sometimes it is hard. Sometimes it's more difficult than anything else. But then, when has something worth having ever been easy?


End file.
